Perinatal trauma expert and midwife Illiyin Morrison joins me to talk about what birth trauma really is, why it’s so different for every woman, and how we can begin to make sense of our own stories. After her own difficult birth, Illiyin created a framework that helps mothers understand what happened during their birth experience, why they responded the way they did, and how to move forward with clarity and compassion. Her work now includes remote birth debriefs, her book The Birth Debrief, and a podcast by the same name.

We explore how trauma is an internal response to an external moment, why memory gaps can feel unsettling, and why so many women don’t process what happened until long after the newborn stage. Illiyin shares how informed consent, communication, and truly understanding your options can shift the entire birth experience. She also explains how postpartum depression and anxiety can show up not only as disconnection, but as hypervigilance—something many mothers don’t realize.

We discuss the tender decision of whether to try for another baby after a traumatic birth and the importance of giving yourself time to heal between pregnancies. And for the mothers who know something feels off but feel too overwhelmed to address it, Illiyin offers a comforting first step: simply acknowledging aloud that something is going on is meaningful. Every mother deserves support, understanding, and space to process both the hard moments and the good ones too.